Improving Your Relationship With Your Spouse
Marriage Counseling in Utah
Most people don’t enter marriage thinking that they will ever seek services for marriage counseling. In fact, they can be shocked and disillusioned when the marriage doesn’t progress or improve as they had anticipated. Recall that feeling that you had when you were dating or first married…that feeling that you’d always feel connected, close and loving toward your spouse? Remember the anticipation of the next date or when he/she would return home from work or a community event? Those feelings of connection and closeness can gradually fade if a marriage isn’t consistently nurtured. Our therapists’ assist couples in regaining those seemingly elusive feelings of love, trust and connection in their marriage through the counseling process.
There are a number of reasons why the closeness in marriage can fade over time. One key reason is that the expectation that the almost euphoric feelings felt during courtship and early in marriage will continue. This is actually a common fallacy that many couples experience. Please know that as couples take on more and more responsibilities in the marriage, conflicts are bound to occur. These include what wives experience as the first child arrives and time for her husband now becomes essentially a constant focus on their child or children. Or what husbands experience due to the demands of a new job, school or other community based responsibilities. Striking a balance between these demands can seem difficult to do, particularly when one or both spouses feel that their needs are being ignored by their partner.
Other more serious challenges can also significantly impact a marriage. An affair, pornography, social media or cyber “cheating” and sexting, to name a few are becoming increasingly more common. When gut wrenching challenges such as an affair or a recently discovered pornography addiction occur, the non-offending spouse can feel doubled over emotionally or even numb. However, healing from these challenges can occur. Effective counseling and also dealing with possible addictive behaviors are very important in the process of moving healthily forward.
Spirituality and faith-based approaches to the counseling process can also be very helpful, particularly when an affair or addictions are involved. England Counseling Services clinical staff are very supportive of a clients desires in this key area.
It has also been our experience that couples that seek counseling are struggling in marriages fraught with difficulties related to communication. It has also been our experience that communication challenges are experienced almost always in some or all of the following areas:
#1) Marital intimacy challenges
#2) Money and how it’s spent
#4) In-laws and extended family
#5) Values and religious views
While other issues almost certainly occur, our clinical staff has found that some or all of these five items are almost always a challenge for couples that we see in counseling. A number of reasons exist for these challenges, including but not limited to the following:
* Men and women simply perceive things uniquely from their spouse
* How each person was raised and what each experienced in their birth family
* Perspectives on life in general
* Religious views and values
* Any unresolved trauma for the person’s past
* Growing/maturing at different levels following marriage
Ultimately, when a couple seeks counseling for the right reasons such as a deep desire for improvement in their marriage, good progress is improving communication, love and trust in the marriage can be made.
For help or just to improve your relationship with your spouse, England Counseling offers marriage counseling in Northern Utah. Please call us today at 801-250-2909 or submit a contact form below.