Getting Naked In Marriage!
Getting naked in marriage isn’t what you’re thinking. In fact, it’s more difficult than you’ve ever imagined or even fantasized about. Exposing one’s feelings so that you’re emotionally naked is incredibly difficult for many couples.
Building the trust, faith, and hope in your marriage that allows for emotional nakedness with your spouse may seem scary and difficult. Many desire it in the Magna and Salt Lake City area. Unfortunately, very few couples reach this level of emotional nudity on a regular basis.
Three keys to becoming Emotionally Naked
Learning To Trust to Take Off Your Emotional Clothing
Developing trust in your marriage is the key to becoming emotionally naked. Most couples have layers of protection from too much exposure of their emotional private parts. Couples learn through past painful experiences that revealing too much of themselves makes them emotionally vulnerable…vulnerable to pain, hurt and disappointment. Thus, the first key to emotional exposure that we so desperately desire is learning to trust our spouse. Trust is built over time…with evidence that he/she can be trusted.
Developing Faith to Expose Your Most Sensitive Areas
Most of us have heard the word faith used in church, the community, or in referencing our favorite sports teams. For example, “I have faith that my BYU Cougars will beat the Utah Utes.” In the Bible, Paul stated in Hebrews that “…Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” The faith that I’m referencing is that spouses want to believe that their spouse can become emotionally naked (vulnerable), BUT their experience has been that their spouse is very closed emotionally. This means that he won’t expose his truest, deepest, and intimate feelings to her. Thus, the second key to developing emotional nakedness is faith…faith that he/she is in the marriage for the long haul and willing to become emotionally unclothed.
Building Hope that Trust and Faith Will Develop into Emotional Nakedness
Hope is a good thing. It has helped many get through the most difficult of circumstances to a successful outcome. The old adage of “Hope Springs Eternal” seems spot on. However, hope can carry a marriage only so far. The need to risk and expose even the most personal of our emotional private areas is critical for a marriage to flourish. Thus, the third key to emotional nudity is hoping for a better tomorrow and not languishing in a lackluster past.
The Revealing Truths About Emotional Nakedness
In Genesis husbands and wives are taught to become “one flesh” in their marriage. This reference is both figurative and literal. However, it seems clear that spouses are to be sexually connected and on a consistent basis. Spouses who are able to become emotionally naked on regular basis will also find that their physically intimate moments are closer, more connective, and much more satisfying. They will also find that their overall marital happiness will trend upward…and upward. Sadly, even with today’s body conscious and obsessed society, I think that many couples find it easier to be physically naked with their spouse than emotionally naked or vulnerable in their marriage. That statement is sadly ironic indeed!
Couples that “dare to go bare” in their marriage don’t learn to bare it all emotionally overnight. It takes practice, understanding and perhaps a bit of good luck to get there. Please remember that Hope Springs Eternal…particularly in something as important as your amazing marriage.
Should a couple find that their attempts at becoming emotionally vulnerable or transparent aren’t going well…counseling may be an excellent option to consider. I’ve blogged on key subjects related to marriage and recommend that you check out this excellent information by clicking here http://englandcounseling.org/communication-in-marriage-it-aint-always-easy-salt-lake-city/.
Relationship and Marriage Expert Michael Boman, LCSW blogs, writes and speaks often on subjects related to marriage and couple relationships. He welcomes your insightful comments at [email protected]